Self-Compassion

Practicing Self-Compassion


Jenny Simon, former Life Management Counselor at the Thrive Center, defines self-compassion as an ever deepening self-acceptance.  Self-compassion is recognizing that it is normal to experience stress, anxiety, anger, and fear during this difficult time.  You may have less motivation, cry easily, sleep too much, sleep too little, have fuzzy brain, feel powerless, feel exhausted, or get irritated more easily… the list goes on!  We need to softly acknowledge how we are feeling and behaving before we can make changes. Treating ourselves with kindness is the first step in taking care of ourselves.

Often times coping with these feelings and being more compassionate to your self involves getting support from others.  Thankfully we are here to provide you with all types of resources to do just that.  One great resource is Wildcats R.I.S.E., a totally free program that allows you to talk with other students about what you are experiencing and get support and gain connection in the process.  

Kristen Neff, a pioneer in the field of self-compassion research, offers three tips for utilizing self-compassion in stressful, uncertain, and tough times:

1. Mindfully accept that the moment is painful

2. Embrace ourselves with kindness and care in response

3. Give ourselves the support and comfort needed to bear the pain


She also offers up eight activities to help increase your self-compassion.  Here are a few of Health and Wellness Initiatives favorites:

  • How would you treat a friend?  How do you think things might change if you responded to yourself in the same way you typically respond to a close friend when he or she is suffering? This exercise walks you through it.
  • Self-compassion break  This exercise can be used any time of day or night and will help you remember to evoke the three aspects of self-compassion in the moment you need it most.
  • Exploring self-compassion through writing Everybody has something about themselves that they don’t like; something that causes them to feel shame, to feel insecure, or not “good enough.” This exercise will help you write a letter to yourself about this issue from a place of acceptance and compassion.
  • Changing your critical self-talk   By acknowledging your self-critical voice and reframing its observations in a more friendly way, you will eventually form the blueprint for changing how you relate to yourself long-term. This exercise will help you learn how to do it.
  • Taking care of the care-giver This exercise will allow you to keep your heart open and help you care for and nurture yourself at the same time you’re caring for and nurturing others.

Being compassionate with yourself right now is so important with the challenges and uncertainty of the times.  Take a moment to be kind to you.


Want to know more? 

Check out these authors and readings:

•            Shauna Shapiro-Good Morning, I love you

•            Heart Math Institute-Heart Math Tools

•            Valarie Kaur-See No Stranger: A Memoir and Manifesto of Revolutionary Love

•            Tara Brach-Radical Self-Forgiveness

•            Colin Tipping-Radical Forgiveness

•            Brené Brown-The Gifts of Imperfection

•            Pema Chödrön-Tibetan Tonglen practice

•            David Attenborough: A Life On Our Planet

And check out the University of Arizona’s other mental health resources.